Couples Counselling Toronto

Caring and confidential, one on one counselling support for all your mental health concerns.

No matter if you are newly engaged or already on your way to divorce, a form of couples counselling could help you lead a healthier life mentally and emotionally. This is because contrary to popular misconception, couples counselling is not just for couples who are facing major problems.

Instead, couples counselling includes marriage counselling, divorce counselling, and discernment counselling along with general couples therapy. Toronto couples at any stage of their relationship can benefit from Counselling Simply’s comprehensive couples counselling options.

Which Type of Couples Therapy is Right for You?

What to Expect in Discernment Couples Therapy Toronto

Unlike other therapy types, discernment is often a relatively short process. Generally, only one to five sessions are required to help couples decide whether they will stay married, get divorced, or enter marriage counselling. Toronto couples in discernment therapy can expect to have both joint and individual conversations with their counsellor. The focus is on each partner understanding their role in the events that led to this point in the relationship. Typically, there is one partner that wants to continue and the other wants to end the relationship. If a partner is leaning towards divorce, they will be asked to discuss why they feel the marriage is not working. The partner who wants to stay married will be asked to think about why their partner wants to leave.

Premarital Couples Therapy Toronto

Counselling prior to marriage is one of the best ways to create a solid foundation for your partnership. Discussing important matters in the neutral setting of a counselling session can help couples to open up and address issues they may not be comfortable with normally. Bringing these things to light before the marriage takes place can help set expectations for both parties and highlight issues that both partners may need to work on.

What to Expect in Premarital Couples Counseling Toronto

Pre-marital counselling focuses on fostering good communication skills and realistic expectations. You can also expect to discuss major topics that many couples struggle with including finances, religious differences, sex life, and future plans.

Marriage Counselling Toronto

You care for your partner and you want to stay with them, but your problems seem insurmountable. If this statement is something you can agree with, marriage counselling may be the right therapy for you. With marriage counselling, the focus is on saving the marriage. Both partners should want to stay in the relationship or, at the very least, want to try.

What to Expect in Marriage Counselling Toronto

When you choose to embark on marriage counselling, you can expect there to be a focus on discussing what has led your relationship to this point. Whether there has been a major breach of trust or a general drifting apart, couples in marriage counselling will work to unravel how and when things began to turn. Marriage counselling can take a matter of weeks or it could be multiple months depending on the issues that need to be addressed. Each partner will have time to speak and your counsellor will help you both to address your role in the events of your relationship. Then, you and your partner will be guided to set realistic expectations going forward, including making a plan for what each partner must work on.

Discernment Counseling

Discernment counselling is among the more unique and less-known types of couples counselling. With this type of therapy, couples come into the process unsure if they want to continue in their marriage or not. Unlike marriage therapy, success is not measured by whether or not the partners choose to stay in the marriage. Instead, success in discernment therapy comes from both parties being able to walk away confident in their decision regardless if that decision is to stay married or get divorced. Often, if divorce is not chosen, couples will enter marriage counselling after the discernment process.

Divorce Counselling

If you have already decided on divorce, it may seem that the time for therapy is done. However, counselling while you are already divorced or in the process of divorcing can be critical to you leading a healthier life after your relationship.

With divorce counselling, the focus is often two-fold: first, there may be issues that still need to be resolved jointly such as financial concerns, parenting, and lingering resentment. However, there is also often a wealth of issues that each individual will need to consider for themselves including what their identity is post-relationship.

What to Expect in Divorce Counselling Toronto

Grief and feelings of being lost are extremely common after a divorce even for partners who were in favour of the relationship ending. Due to this, one of the aims of divorce counselling is to support and rebuild a sense of self after a relationship.

This is an aspect of divorce that is often overlooked or trivialized. However, regaining your sense of self after a relationship can help make the divorce process much smoother. Those who have had therapy and can see their individual future ahead of them are better able to let go of past hurts and deal more civilly with their ex-partner when needed.

Neutral Perspective

One of the underrated aspects of therapy is the simple presence of a neutral third party. Couples often find themselves operating from a place of hurt and anger where they do not feel heard but they are also not listening.

A neutral presence diffuses these heated emotions that often come up in a relationship. While these emotions are valid, they tend to make us say and do things that are inflammatory to a situation and not productive.

Improved Communication

Oftentimes, couples fall into unhealthy patterns of communicating without realizing it. Some partners may bottle up emotions while others only seem to be able to communicate by arguing or by being passive-aggressive.

Once these patterns are established it can be extremely difficult to break them without outside help. Therapy assists in giving couples a kind of communication reset. Instead of having the same arguments repetitively, quality communication skills break this cycle and give you ways to address each other’s needs productively.

Setting Realistic Expectations

At the beginning of a relationship when most couples are driven by attraction and emotion, future expectations do not seem relevant because you are so happy with each other at the moment. However, as time goes on, things that seem like small inconveniences at the beginning can turn into major pain points. Suddenly, you find yourself with a partner who is not meeting your unspoken expectations.

Therapy assists couples in setting forth realistic expectations for each other and for themselves. This can encompass everything from expectations of who will do certain household chores to major future plans that will affect you both.

Increased Understanding and Acceptance

While much of therapy is about making changes, it is just as important to foster acceptance of the way each partner currently is. With a greater understanding of each other couples can strengthen their bonds and create a better support system.

Are All Sessions Done Jointly?

While some sessions may be done with you, your partner, and your therapist, one-on-one sessions are an equally important part of the process. Individual therapy allows each partner the freedom to discuss issues freely that they might not feel comfortable discussing in front of their partner.

Additionally, many couples may also seek family or teen therapy for their children. Other family members may also be brought into the discussion if they play a role in the relationship.

Why Get Therapy When You Have Already Decided to Divorce?

Divorce counselling may seem superfluous but it can go a long way to turning a bitter divorce into an amicable one. Though it may be tempting to stay mad at your ex, working through these negative emotions benefits you the most as it will make it easier to move on to the next phase of your life. Even more importantly, divorce counselling can help you work through your issues so you do not bring them into your next relationship.

Does Divorce Counselling Include a Discussion of Finances or Custody?

Divorce counselling is not intended to settle financial or custody matters. These issues can be discussed during therapy but any official ruling on matters of child support, alimony, or property division will need to be addressed in court.

Discover the Benefits of Couples Counselling for Yourself

Admitting that you and your relationship are struggling can feel overwhelming. You may find yourself asking Will therapy actually help? Is our relationship really in that much trouble? However, it is important to remember that your relationship will likely not improve on its own.

Counselling Simply is here to help you navigate through these difficult times and give you the tools you need to continue to work with your partner. Contact us today for appointment availability.